my mom told me that in high school she use to get boyfriends at the beginning of February so they had enough time to get her a valentines day gift and then break up with them the day after and just keep the gift and one day she told her parents about it and they made her keep her boyfriend at least until the end of February and so she did and that boy is now my dad
I want a platypus.
No you don’t they’re venomous.
If they sting you, they won’t kill you. Oh no. Much worse. Their venom will leave you in such intense pain that you may find yourself vomiting for DAYS. There is also no antivenin and not even MORPHINE can dull the pain.
You do not want a platypus.
Nah, I still want it.
im so high rn and i just watched this for 6 minutes straight
*asks mom if she can buy something for me in september*
"no christmas is coming"
for the past hour ive been scratching and meowing at my brothers door and every time he got pissed off at me and for like the fifth time i put our actual cat there and threw a bracelet at the door to get his attention and he slaMMED open the door like “woULD U JUST SHUT U-” and he looked at the cat and the cat looked at him and it was really quiet
gf: ew leave me alone
water is wet
the dog days are over, the cat days are beginning
wanna make a secret handshake it involves us touching our mouths together for three hours